ESP Messaging Check List
Want to write messages that people will reply to? Use our ESP checklist?
Effort as the cheat code - if you spend more than 10 minutes writing, you're already in the top percentile.
You get out what you put in, the bar is incredibly low. By putting in effort, you increase your chances substantially - https://www.foxyfunevents.com/blog/effort-as-cheat-code-inbox-analysis
PDF download at the bottom of the page.
01
Foxy Fun Events
Rules
Rules
- I only message people whose profiles say they’re open to being contacted.
- I never send unsolicited explicit content.
- I do not message people looking only for couples, women, or other identities I don’t match.
- I never nag, pester, guilt-trip, or follow up after a rejection.
- I do not send “???” or complain about being ignored.
- I’ve read their entire profile before messaging.
ESP Messaging Checklist · Rules
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02
Foxy Fun Events
Behaviors
Behaviors
- I open with something personal, specific, and relevant to their profile.
- I avoid lazy messages like “Hi,” “How are you?” or “What are you into?”
- I state what I’m looking for and how I think we might align.
- I ask open-ended questions to invite genuine conversation.
- I keep the message respectful and clear - no assumptions, no porn language.
- I don’t act entitled to a response.
- I check for communication preferences if listed.
- I don’t ask for photos.
- If I’m horny, I manage that feeling before I message.
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03
Foxy Fun Events
Comfort
Comfort
- My tone is calm, warm, and grounded - not needy or cocky.
- I sound like someone who would take “no” gracefully.
- I don’t hint, joke, or flirt in a way that could pressure or confuse.
- I respect their time. I don’t send multiple messages if there’s no reply.
- I don’t try to convince or negotiate my way into a reply.
- My message makes it easy for them to say “yes,” “no,” or nothing at all.
ESP Messaging Checklist · Comfort
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