ESP (GUYS) Behavior: Rules, Behaviors, and Comfortm (RBC)
The Three Layers of Event Behavior: Rules, Behaviors, and Comfort
The ESP program and Foxy Fun events operate on a three-layer system that defines expectations for participants at sex-positive and group-oriented events. This system ensures that attendees respect boundaries, engage appropriately, and foster a welcoming atmosphere.
Layer 1: Rules (Non-Negotiable)
Definition:
These are hard boundaries—clear, enforceable rules that ensure safety, respect, and consent. Breaking these rules results in immediate consequences, such as removal from the event or permanent banning.
📌 Why This Layer Exists:
This ensures the event remains safe, ethical, and legally compliant. It protects all attendees and reinforces that participation is a privilege, not a right.
Core Rules:
✅ Consent is non-negotiable – No touching without explicit consent.
✅ No means no, hesitation means no, unclear signals mean no.
✅ Respect personal boundaries – You are not owed participation.
✅ Follow venue guidelines – Respect the space, follow hygiene and safety protocols.
✅ No coercion or pressure – Encouraging participation is fine, pushing or guilt-tripping is not.
✅ Disruptive behavior = immediate ejection – If you make people uncomfortable, you will be asked to leave.
✅ Stealthing = police involvement – Removing a condom without consent is sexual assault.
Layer 2: Behaviors (Encouraged Social Engagement)
Definition:
While rules are about what you must not do, behaviors are what you should do to create a fun, engaging, and positive event culture.
📌 Why This Layer Exists:
Many sex-positive spaces fail because men assume not breaking the rules is enough. It’s not. You need to actively contribute to a social, engaging, and fun atmosphere.
Key Behavioral Guidelines:
🔹 Read the Room – Pay attention to non-verbal cues; body language is crucial.
🔹 Approach with consideration – Engage socially before assuming play is an option.
🔹 Participate in the event culture – Don’t just linger and observe.
🔹 Be generous, not just a taker – Offer compliments, encouragement, and positive energy.
🔹 Respect different communication styles – Some people are direct, others are subtle; adjust accordingly.
🔹 Avoid ‘Velociraptor’ behavior – Don’t circle groups like a predator waiting for an opportunity.
🔹 No ‘Zombie Dick’ Syndrome – Wandering aimlessly, waiting for someone to invite you in, is not attractive.
Layer 3: Comfort (Emotional & Social Awareness)
Definition:
Even if you follow the rules and behave correctly, people may still feel uncomfortable. Comfort is about awareness of others' emotions and how your presence affects the environment.
📌 Why This Layer Exists:
Comfort ensures people feel safe and valued, not just tolerated. Even if someone follows the rules and behaves well, they may still come off as pushy, passive, or awkward. This layer encourages self-awareness and emotional intelligence to foster a truly welcoming space.
Comfort Considerations:
☑️ Your presence should enhance, not disrupt.
☑️ A ‘yes’ can become a ‘no’ at any time.
☑️ Accept rejection gracefully.
☑️ Be aware of your impact – If your presence changes the energy of a group, adjust.
☑️ Help create a relaxed environment – Events thrive on good energy.
☑️ Look out for others – If someone seems uncomfortable, check in or give them space.
